It’s time to work out my problems by writing about them again! Let’s see how this goes…

Okay, so here’s where I’m at. I’m in Australia which is a literal dream come true. I am travelling solo which, albeit fun is quite isolating. I met some lovely folks along the way, but the past month has been…quiet. Also, I am slowly running out of money and at this rate will be heading home much sooner than planned. I could say all the “Oh it’s been so hard finding a job, nothing has come up” but that’s not entirely true. For about two weeks solid in Brisbane I had at least 6 interviews lined up, all of which I bailed on. Yes I need a job, and yes, they were shitty jobs (fundraising, cold calling etc). They would have been a piece of cake. But something stopped me.

anxious

I was anxious. I (unrealistically) didn’t want that kind of job. New job meant a new start? I guess? Up until that point I had always had friends around. Be it the ones from home or the ones I met along the way. Even the job in Melbourne I got through my friend. Even thinking about it now is making me anxious. But that’s just me, I need to be realistic and push past that initial nervousness and do it! Apply for anything and just do it! I came to Australia so cocky, thinking my past work experience would get me a job no problem. But as it turn out, companies don’t want to hire Office Coordianators or Admin Assistants that are going to leave in a few months. To be honest, it’s been pretty disheartening. But again, get over it and move on, Chiera.

This is a working HOLIDAY! I am here to enjoy myself and have fun! I technically have a job if you count house sitting. Getting to stay in a lovely house with two lovely dogs for the next month is amazing. I don’t need to worry about rent, only about feeding myself. I have a cushion to relax and take my time planning my next steps. Do I want a job here on the Gold Coast? Will I move on after the house sitting gig to a new place and find work. Should I be smart and plan ahead so I arrive already with a job to my next destination?

anxious

Back home, I had the same job for 5 years. I lived with my parents. I had a very comfortable life. This is my first foray into the adult arena, and while it’s a baby step, it’s still a step. I was watching Queer Eye today (because the new season is on Netflix and it is the best show ever!) and Karamo said “Adult life is a life of ACTION” and bro, you got me! Here I am, trying to ignore my problems with some fab makeovers and you hit me right in the face with it! Not cool Karamo! (I’ll try to ignore the fact that he was talking about an 18 year old and not a nervous nelly 26 year old.)

I need to take ACTION! I need to PLAN! Be CONFIDENT in my decisions and work to make them happen! It can be as little as “Go explore the local area today” or as big as “Plan your South East Asia trip” or anything in between. But I need to DO IT! At times I feel so overwhelmed by all the constant change that comes with backpacking. The feeling of not knowing where my next paycheck will come from or where I will be living next month is pretty scary. And to have to do it over and over again, every day, week, month, is exhausting. But hey, this is the life I have chosen. I wanted to travel and see the world. And you can’t do that without an income, kid!

With a house, and dogs to look after, it’s easy to put the bigger obstacles in life to the side and get lost in the feeding and walking schedules and the thrill of finally being able to catch up on Netflix. But the time has come to snap out of it and find the balance. Go out and explore. Get back to nature because it is EVERYWHERE on the Gold Coast. If applying for work online isn’t working out, hit the shopping centres with CVs. Be proactive with my days, and even if I don’t see instant results, I’ll feel better in myself. When you sit around and do nothing all day, it allows your brain to fixate on all the things you ‘can’t do!’. Well obviously you can’t do them from your jammies in the house. Get up, get ready, and go get it. Whatever it is you want.

anxous

This is turning a bit too much inspirational cheesy-ness but there you have the power of working through your problems. Whether you talk to a friend or talk to your blog, it helps to get it out.  I already feel more motivated! And now it’s on the internet, so call me out if I moan about how ‘being a backpacker is so dificult’ again. Cause it’s only as dificult as you let it be.

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3 thoughts on “An Anxious Backpacker Briefly Complains About Life”

  1. So so loved this, I am from Scotland also currently in Oz – weirdly, despite a degree and experience in a huge company at home had so many companies say no, then ended up with a job because the person who ran the company was also Scottish. I completely agree alot of it comes down to who you know etc. It can be hard at times to think of the bigger picture but think how rewarding it will be knowing you stuck it out and didn’t give up. I know so many people who have done the “Byeeee I’m off to Oz see you all in a year” and bailed after a month – everything happens for a reason and I’m very grateful of bloggers who share posts like this and not just the fabulous “I’m having the most amazing” time type stuff!!

  2. Sometimes all you need to get out of a rut or over anxiety is to actually recognise that’s how you’re feeling – and it sounds like that’s just what you’ve done. I’ve been in this place before and have only gotten out of it by recognising what was going on and then doing something about it. All the best for the rest of your time in Oz!! How long do you plan to be there?

  3. The title of this post really made me giggle! I have often thought of going to Australia but know I’d need to work to pay my way for all the travelling I’d want to do, but I completely understand your thought that it’s still a holiday! Prepare to enjoy yourself!!

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