Today was the day I was going to finally tell my boss. I decided a few months ago that I was moving abroad to Australia on a Working Holiday Visa. I’d held back on telling my boss until I was 100% certain it was happening though. To be completely honest, I’m still not 100% sure, but since my departure date is just over 3 months away I guess I need to tell her, right? You see, I’m a perpetual mind changer. I make plans, research, convince myself that it’ll be the best experience ever. And then just, don’t do it. At this point, I honestly don’t believe myself when I say “I’m moving abroad”. It’s too big. There’s no chance I’ll go through with it.
That would be my normal outlook. Just bail when it gets too overwhelming. But I’ve told my family, I’ve planned it with my friends. People know about it now, so it’s almost a pride thing that’s forcing me into it. I don’t want to turn around and tell them that I was too scared to go. So the less people that know, the better for me incase I change my mind. Telling my boss, handing in my resignation, it just makes it a bit too real for my brain to handle.
I feel I’ve mentioned enough times on this blog that Australia is what sparked my love of travel. More specifically, Australian kids TV shows (don’t pretend like you didn’t watch The Sleepover Club too!) When I was 14 years old, I would plan out moving abroad and getting a job and a flat, because 14 is old enough, right? Then it was 16. Then it was 18. When I got my first proper job at 20, my plan was to work for a year, SAVE SAVE SAVE and just leave. That was five years ago.
I am such an overthinker and stress out very easily if I can’t see what in front of me. With this move, I have no idea. With only a vague plan of what I want to do, it’s incredibly daunting to just fly to the other side of the world, and wing it. Will I need to work more than I want to? Will I struggle to make ends meet? Am I going to find it easy meeting people and socialising what with my aggressively introverted personality. Will all this stress overwhelm me and ultimately stop me from having the time of my life? Or will I get there, absolutely love it, be totally at ease and never want to leave? I have no idea. THAT’S THE PROBLEM!
I wish I could be one of those people who just get excited about new adventures rather than get nervous. Or scared. Or terrified. It depends on how much I think about it. When it comes to the practical stuff; bank accounts, Tax File Numbers, visas etc I’m all good. I’ve been researching this stuff for the past 10 years! But if I dare allow myself to think about that literal ‘I’m moving abroad and need to make new friends and fend for myself’ side of things, I panic. Why do I do that? Why can’t I just look at this move as incredible and exciting?
The truth is, there is no way I can know what it’s going to be like until I get there. I can ask as many people who have done a Working Holiday as I can find. There is no way they can tell me what my experience is going to be like. So, ultimately, there is absolutely no point in me stressing out so much about what I can’t control. I need to just let it go. Plan the practical stuff. Visa. Bank Account. Flights. Accommodation. Rough destination list. And just go.
So there it is. A whole bunch more people know my plan. There’s no way I can back out now!
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