Less that 2 weeks till I go to Romania. I am both so excited and so nervous. All day I’ve been thinking about what is still left to do and how little time I have to do it but it’s just dawned on me the real reason why I’m so nervous. I will be gone for basically 5 weeks. The last time I did solo travel was in 2013 when I went to Canada and NYC. It may seem like absolutely nothing to a more experienced traveler but I am just really unsettled by the fact that I’ll be away from home for so long. That, if I decide I don’t like it or that I’m not enjoying myself, I can’t just walk 20 minutes back home to my comfort zone.
I remember feeling like this before I left for Canada as well, but I was younger then. I figured I would be more comfortable with it now. But when I think about it, I have a pretty sheltered life here. I live at home with my parents, I work in the same place I have for 4 years, I live in the same area I have my entire life. There has never been anything uncomfortable or unsettling about my home life, so when I take myself out of it it’s quite a hit. Sorry what? I need to fend for myself now? (Yes I’m aware it’s only 5 weeks and I’m majorly over exaggerating.)
Thinking about everything you need to do all at once is so overwhelming. It seems to be the only way my brain functions lately. When I remember I still have stuff to do, I am hit with a flood of panic that there’s just not enough hours in the day to get it all done! It’s almost as if there is no more space in my brain to actually work out a painless way to work through everything.
I am just definitely having one of those moments where I have been so stressed and on edge for so long about this. I just needed to get it out. But to say all this to someone’s face their first instinct would to be to tell you “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine”. Which isn’t really what I want to hear. That just makes me feel stupid for worrying. So what better place to vent all your woes and worries? The internet, of course! I can already feel a slight calm wash over me.
So thanks for listening 🙂