Logically, the first post of a new blog should be the introduction. Illogically, here we are.
I thought I would take the time to say Hi and explain the meaning being my blog name.
Young and Undecided. I named this my Tumblr name back in 2010. At that point in my life I had been out of school for about a year already, failed almost all of my exams therefore did not get into college or University, had no job and no clear direction for my life. Ergo I was “Young and Undecided” Clever, right?
It is now 2016 and I feel not much about my life has changed.
A whole lot of nothing is what happened for 2 years after school. I was an Extra in a few TV shows that tided me over financially but no ‘real’ job. I’m trying to think of a way to say this next bit without making it seem like an excuse, but I just wasn’t ready for any of it. And that is in no way a valid reason not to do something like University or get a job – they are pretty fundamental aspects of life- but when it was time to apply for Uni courses at school I just didn’t take it seriously. At the time I wanted to be an actor but was also very shy and introverted so had no expectations of that working out. Other than acting, there was nothing else I wanted to do with my life, so I didn’t see the point in spending 4 years in Uni doing a course I wasn’t going to be completely invested in. I don’t even remember what I applied for to be honest – that’s how much of a non-event it was in my life.
A year goes by. Two years go by. All my friends are at University meeting new friends. Life was at a standstill. Still no job, not that I was really looking. Until I got a volunteer position at Citizens Advice, which is an advice line for anything be it money problems, benefits, how to plan a funeral, the list goes on. I was there for 7 months and I met a lovely woman during my induction who I became close with. One day we were out for lunch and she told me she thought I was destined for an exciting life and that I had a lot to offer. That meant more to me than she will ever know because at that time, at 20 years old, I thought the exact opposite. 2 years of nothing had worn me down. It was the kick I needed. I think about her sometimes, and that lunch, when I need a boost to stop feeling bad about myself or my life. If she believed in me I should believe in me too!
Then my big break came and I got an actual paying job! My friend recommended me to her boss and after a 5 minute interview I got it! Retail is no ones friend (unless you are genuinely passionate about it, which I’m sure some people are) but I do owe a lot of thanks to it for bringing me out of my shell. I quickly became more confident with talking to people and initiating conversations. I even noticed the difference in my relationships with my friends, I was seeing them more and saying yes more to invitations. Cut to 4 years later and I still work in the same shop. 1 year in I managed to get away from the shop floor and into the admin side of it, which isn’t the most exciting work but it’s good enough.
Travel has always been a dream of mine and has become more prominent in my life these past 3 years. I’ve been to Paris, Montreal, NYC, Dublin, Corfu and a lot more to come. My friends and I try to take at least one trip a year (I have my summers planned up until 2018!). I’m aware travel isn’t a ‘career’ or whatever societal expectations you should have sorted by your mid twenties, but it is my goal for the foreseeable future. Rather than sit here and wait for my eureka moment to strike and tell me what do to for the rest of my life, I want to go and experience the world.
So I guess, 6 years on I am still undecided, just not as young.